You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
