She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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