sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
