shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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