I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
