We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
