Sponge bath it is.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
