If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
