id be glad to
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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