How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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