Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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