Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
