you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
