Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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