Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
