I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
