her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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