I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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