It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
