i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
