I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize