I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
