if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
