I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
