So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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