Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
