I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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