Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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