Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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