She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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