I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dicks are not precious.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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