Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
