So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
