Kiss
Puke
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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