He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
