i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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