I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
