hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
