I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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