How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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