Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
