I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
