don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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