so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize