If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you win again, gameday.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
