Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
