She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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