there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
