They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize