I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
