We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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