dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
not ubering you a puppy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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