There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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