He disabled his match.com account in front of me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
