I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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