dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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